I’m powerless over your perception of me

February 14, 2012 / blakeypaa / 2 comments

Today I got reassured just how powerless I am over some peoples perception of me.  Without divulging too much information here is a synopsis  of what happened to me today:

I received a call at around 9am and listened to someone vent about something that is happening to them.  This person believes (without saying it directly) that I am trying to hurt them in financial ways.  This person said that when the perpetrator is had he would cause physical harm to not enable this person (inherently a threat to me) to do it again.  I guess teaching this person a lesson in ethics is what he was trying to get across.

I wasn’t really enabled to say anything as this person said that was about it after the venting and hung up the phone.  I texted this person a little while later giving him an explanation of what may be happening.  His response was the the effect of saying that the evidence of this tampering points to me.  Normally when someone accuses me of something in this nature (and I know I’m innocent) I get highly defensive and angry.  I try to live by spiritual principles today and responded with this: “It sucks to know that you really do believe I’m doing this.  I can’t change your perception of me but I can control how I react to threats. Have a great day.”  You see, without these spiritual principles that I try to live by I would be resentful and full of fear.  Instead I’m content and have faith that everything will work out the way it’s suppose too.

What makes this kind of sad is this person texted me the day before and asked how I was doing.  Instead of replying I decided to call and chat.  At the end of our conversation he said something to the effect of “It sounds like you are more spiritual.”   After the conversation I felt good that he actually wanted to know how I was doing.  That was up until I got the call today that made me realize this persons real motive for checking up on me yesterday.

This is a great lesson for me to experience.  I have no control what this person is accusing me of, but I can control how much I let it effect me.  I would never do anything that this person is trying to accuse me of.  I know in my heart of hearts that I haven’t done a thing.  I guess what I’m really trying to say is that without these principles I try to live by today my reaction would have been different and it would eat at me.

I thank my God for allowing me to go through the things that I go through on a daily basis.  Every experience, whether positive or negative has a lesson for me to learn from.  I could have participated in a defect (fear) but instead I reacted with faith that my God will take care of me and this situation.  The lesson I am learning with this experience is that I am powerless of what anyone thinks of me and that’s ok.  I know who I am and don’t need everyone to love me.

Cheers,

Blake

Category: Life /

Wow…simply wow…

December 27, 2011 / blakeypaa / 3 comments

I had something amazing happen when I was golfing with my little brother Conor, my father, and a family friend Craig on Christmas Eve.  We were on the second hole at Temecula Creek Inn on Oaks.  My second shot put me on the backside of the green on the rough.  I was a good 20 feet from the cup and knew I was going to have to chip onto the green.   I grabbed my chipper and putter and walked up to the green.

I started thinking about my Grandfather Robert Denman who passed away September 25, 2007.  He was a retired Fire Captain, Arsen Investigator and also did his service in the Navy.  When I was learning how to golf when I was a kid he and my father taught me something as what is called a bump and run.

A bump and run is where you choke up on a pitching wedge or a sand wedge and turn the club face in to offset some of the angle.  You hit the ball in a easy 1/4 swing.  When the ball hits the green the spin on the ball allows it to not bounce and run on the green with a little bit of speed.  It’s commonly used when when you are close to a green and are a little ways away from the cup.

As I was practice swinging I thought to myself “this one is for you Grandpa, if I make this I’ll be a firefighter just like you.”  I did the bump and run and right after I hit it I thought that there was no chance that it was going to go in.  I watched and watched as the ball was going at the angle I thought it would.  It got closer and closer and dropped in the cup.

My jaw dropped.  My little brother shouted “great shot dude!!!” and I looked at him and said “dude I’ve got the heebiejeebies right now.”  He asked me why and I told him what I was thinking about.  Just writing about it now puts a huge smile on my face.

I told my dad right after what had happened too (he was down by his golf cart) and he lit up.  Things like this happen to me all the time.  I’ll put a thought into my head and think good things about it.  More often than not it actually happens.

This situation just reaffirms to me that the decision I have made in my life to change my career as well as the power of positive thinking.  It works…if you haven’t tried it give it a shot!

 

Category: Life /

Getting back in touch with a passion

December 21, 2011 / blakeypaa / No comments

A couple of years ago I got addicted to something that changed my life. Let’s start before that and what led up to my healthy addiction.

Ever since I was a kid I was fat.  At my biggest from what I can remember I weighed in one time at over 220lbs.  Something had to change.  But I loved fast food and sugary soda so much!

I had no knowledge of what to do or how to do it.  At first I assumed if I just starved myself that I would lose weight.  I would skip breakfast entirely and eat a small lunch and a pretty big dinner.  Nothing really happened.  I got a gym membership and would go to the EXACT same elliptical routine for 28 minutes everyday.  After a month of this I saw very little change in my body.  I was starting to get frustrated and decided that maybe I didn’t know what to do. I wanted change SOOO badly.  That change came when I made a commitment with a friend of mine.

The workout program was called P90X.  I had seen the infomercials trying to pitch it and I just figured it would be some type of scam.  After all, it was an infomercial!  A buddy of mine decided that he wanted to do it.  I decided to join in on it as well.  I didn’t know much about nutrition then and started doing research.

I learned a lot about macronutrients and their purposes.  I also discovered supplementation.  I would walk into Vitamin Shoppe and would talk for at least 30 minutes with an employee about what I needed in order to get the change that I want.  I would take mental notes on what they would recommend and then I would go home and do the research myself.  Once I verified the information that was presented to me I was on board.

I took pictures on Day 1 of P90X and did the workouts everyday and followed a strict diet (I don’t call it a diet today, I call it a lifestyle choice).  I took updated pictures every 30 days to see the progress that I was making.  My Day 1 to Day 30 pictures in comparison were astonishing.  There a drastic change in my appearance that I had not seen myself.  This gave me the motivation that I was looking for.  Not to mention that the workouts themselves made me feel good about myself.

After I finished P90X I wanted more.  I then turned to another program called Insanity.  This particular workout program is 60 days and it definitely meets its name.  I wanted to die on most of the workouts.  Again I took pictures of before and after and I got shredded.  After I finished Insanity I decided to hit the weights.

I was lifting 6 days a week and I was getting wicked strong.  I loved how my body looked and was proud of my accomplishment.  The something happened.

About 18 months ago I moved out of my hometown of Temecula and moved to Huntington Beach.  There was a 24 Hour Fitness less than 2 blocks from where I was moving too.  Out of the 13 months that I lived in Huntington Beach I worked out maybe a couple dozen times.

The saying “if you don’t use it you lose it” plays true in my case.  I started to “treat” myself to non-healthy foods more frequently and I wasn’t working out.  I started to gain my weight back and lose the muscle that I worked so hard to get in the first place.  This also started to take a toll on how I felt about myself.

I moved to Long Beach about 2 months ago and I knew that I needed to get back into my gym routine.  I missed it just as much as I missed the way that I use to look.  3 weeks ago I made a commitment to myself to get back into the shape that I use to be in.  The first thing that I have gained back since I have been back was the way that I feel about myself and what I put into my body.  I’m looking forward to seeing the results that I am aiming for.

Category: working out /

Social Networking – Ruining the REAL Social Experience?

August 20, 2011 / blakeypaa / No comments
Social Media Blah Blah Blah

Let's Get Social!!

 

In the day and age of how popular Social Networking sites like Facebook, Twitter, Google+ FourSquare, and the dozens of others below them makes one wonder how all of this technology and the interwebz is effecting the REAL social experience.  And what I mean by REAL social experience is communicating FACE to FACE and ENGAGE in a REAL conversation.

I like to people watch when I’m waiting for something, or if I’m really bored in a mall I’ll just sit on a bench and people watch.  It’s amazing what you will see if you actually pay attention to what’s going on.  Before I get into the common isms please be aware that I suffer from most of them!

  • constant checkingism – people like this check there phones for new messages, updates, or just check without even knowing it every few minutes.  They check more when they are by themselves in a social situation.  They subconsciously grab there phone and look at the screen hoping it is going to do something for them.  They will dabble with it for a few seconds, look around, dabble some more, then put the phone back in their pocket/purse. Rinse & Repeat.

So umm what's your Facebook??

  • conversing but touching/staring at phoneism – This is one of my favorites to correct people on or bring up in social situations.  A lot of people have lost the ability to hold eye contact while having a REAL conversation with another individual.  The social engagement could be with a friend or a family member but you will find that person checking there phone, or speaking to you but looking at there phone.
  • talking about social networking siteisms – It’s almost impossible to hold a normal conversation with anyone nowadays without some type of social networking site being brought up. Heck, every news channel tells you to follow them on Twitter or Like them on Facebook.  Why?  Do I really want to read Jillian Barberies (sp?) Tweets on a daily basis?  HELL NO!
  • acronymisms – WTF, LOL, LMAO, IMO, IMHO, WTH, GFY, & OMG just to name a few of popular acronyms that are popular today.  It’s NOT ok to actually speak these terms.  Well it’s ok if your making fun of them.  I hear this most often at coffee shops.  Kids younger than me (mainly girls) will be talking and will spout out the acronyms and move along in the conversation, all while they are suffering from at least one of the other isms above.
What’s the solution to all of these isms?  How about being made aware of it first of all.  I read an article a few months ago that these psychologists reported on talking about how subconsciously we do a lot of these things because we have formed a habit.  Like kicking cigarettes you have to break the habit.  Whenever I am engaging in a REAL conversation I make sure my phone stays in my pocket, the only times I do acronymisms is when I make fun of them.  Whenever I hear someone bring up a social networking site in a conversation I tell them just how much I hate that particular site (I have love/hate relationships with social networking sites).
All in all I guess the photo below expresses everything that I think about with regards to social networking sites :)
Category: mmmmmm /

Blake & Lack Of Sleep = A Dull Boy

August 8, 2011 / blakeypaa / No comments

It’s getting close to standard lunch time for normal people and I just finished my second meal of the day.  I guess you can say that I have a “case of the Mondays.”  All what I want to do is go home and sleep for the remainder of the day.  The reason I am like this is my own fault.

All my life I have had a hard time keeping a normal sleep schedule.  I have always been a night owl.  The saying the early bird gets the worm is not really true to someone like me.  Yesterday I decided that in order for me to get on a good sleep schedule I should go ahead and take a quick nap at night then stay up in the waking am hours and then finish out a lot of work.

This has not really gone according to plan.  Today I feel like I am purposefully looking for a fight.  The office manager of where I rent office space asked me very politely to turn my music down which has never been a problem….well she picked a bad day to ask.  I nodded and turned it down.  About 15 mins later I hear her having a conversation next door with a very loud man (I’ve heard it before) so I decided to reciprocate.  I walked into her office and asked if I could shut her door because I could hear every word of their conversation in my office over my music.  The look on my face wasn’t too amused.

She said it was ok and I shut her door with a look of oh shit on her face.  I think today is going to be one of those days to where I try to keep to myself as much as I possibly can because a good friend has deemed me “The King of Confrontation.”

Category: Ranting /

uhhh yup!

August 7, 2011 / blakeypaa / No comments

Welcome to my personal website.  I have no idea what I am going to be doing with it just yet but it’s going to be a hoot!

Eventually a theme will develop on what I write about the most so I’ll stick with that.  I have a feeling it’s going to be either about the fall of our country, zombies, nutrition/working out, or me ranting about the interwebz…

Category: Random /